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Are you okay? They say you got up and walked away so you can’t have been badly hurt.”“I’ve got a nasty bruise on my stomach but I’ll live. Jaymon and I have been suspended, along with Dimitri Antonov, who was a real hero when he interposed himself between us in order to protect me.”“Did Dimitri really say you’re the best chance Joanna has of being found alive? What did he mean by that?” asked Cayenne.“We’ve been working on one of our nerd theories. It’s pretty outlandish,” I admitted.“Oh,” said Cayenne disappointedly. “Kidnapped by aliens and taken to their mother ship?”“Something like that,” I muttered, surprised that such words had passed Cayenne’s lips.“Look, I’d better get to school or I’ll be late.”“Can you let me know if you hear any news about Joanna?” I asked.“Will do. Bye.” Cayenne hung up without waiting for me to reciprocate.The timing was fortuitous because just after the call ended, I heard Mum start her car and drive off. I went downstairs and used the home phone to. Within no time I had a wealth of ideas for revenge (I also made a mental note, never to get on the wrong side of these children). Casually I stepped out into the corridor, LOML’s door was open which meant we had to be extra sneaky. One of my children, bravely crawled commando-style across the floor carrying the can of spray paint in a plastic wallet, along with a new confession note (signed by LOML naturally), in his mouth. He pinned the damning evidence to the door, where, unfortunately, it was found mere minutes later. This war continued all day and my embarrassment had somehow evolved into side-splitting mirth. A few days later he was off work and I got landed with the teacher from hell covering his class. That night I resorted to emailing him and begging him to come back soon because I missed him (brave of me eh?). The woman was awful, the kids hated her and were naughtier than ever, she hated me and went out of her way to make my life difficult, there was certainly no laughter.
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